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Wordythinks - Episode One: Get Down on Yourself - A review of Starslip

Greetings all you cheery chirpy people!

Today is a special day, and I don't mean "Olympics" special, I mean "special" special!

I, along with my good associate Alan "Mister Hands" Byrne, have reviewed Kristofer Straub's fine, fine webcomic Starslip. But this ain't any old paper and pen job, no sir. In this age of techno-gwidget-zizmos we done reviewed this in the form of a Podcast! Our weekly new-webcomic review will be posted on Fridays from here on out. Look forward to it. 

You can listen to and download the MP3 here, guy: Wordythinks Episode 1: Get Down On Yourself - A Review of Starslip

You can find Kris' work pretty much everywhere, but specifically at the following web locations:
http://www.starslip.com/
http://www.chainsawsuit.com/
http://www.fchords.com/
http://www.checkerboardnightmare.com/
http://www.webcomics.com/
http://www.ichorfalls.com/
http://www.krisstraub.com/

"Prolific" isn't strong enough a word. Check him out. 

See y'all Friday! Peace out.

Confrontation Has Varnished My Buns

Welp, college is finally over for me. I’m now officially in the ranks of the unemployed. A science degree is now officially as useless as an arts degree in this country. Anyone out there need a biologist? Or a spunky writer with everything to prove? No? Ball. Well, you know where to find me if you do.
Also, I got a couple of extra questions. Since I probably won’t do another of those question things for a while I’ll answer them now. First off, “Why don't you post your comic in keenspot or comicgenesis?” The answer: Because I don’t know any html. Yet. Secondly, “Will you ever change the appearance of this blog?” Again, don’t know html, when I do I’ll try and add something cool. In the meantime, I’m pretty happy with it. Thanks for the questions, now on to the webcomics. Also, Star Trax is starting up this Thursday (weather permitting) with “Captain’s Prologue”. More news on the site come Thursday.

This week, I have been mostly reading ‘The Book of Biff’ by Chris Hallbeck. Single panel funnies galore featuring the angry man himself, Biff! Check it out if you like that sort of noise. I sure as heck do.

Today I have a proper treat for you, son. Yes, you. Son! Today’s review is of the masterpiece collaboration between Chris Jones, James Ashby and Zach Weiner. Zach and Chris worked together before on Captain Excelsior which was just plain fantastic on all counts. Their new project, Snowflakes, which really got going in April, is nothing short of excellent. Following the story of several orphans in their nun-run orphanage high in the Andes Mountains, Snowflakes is a snow-bound, traction-packed misadventure for all involved. Adding the whole “orphan” angle into the mix, you have the only adoptions occurring at Christmas *suspense* when only the youngest or cutest get adopted *drama*.
There are quite a few main characters in the story, and executing all of their appearances is a tricky but beautifully done undertaking, a testament to the skill of both writers and artist. Here’s the 411 on the main cast. (So what if nobody says “411” anymore, I’m takin’ it back!)
Lusitania: Or just “Lu” for short. She’s the oldest (or is it eldest… Can you say “eldest” in reference to orphans? I thought it was a family thing. Am I typing this? Ball). Anyway, she’s 10, and is worried she won’t ever be picked for adoption. Ever!
Priti: Lu’s bestest friend who undertakes the impossible task of making Lu acceptable for adoption.
Wray: Tough as nails and thrice as sharp. She’s a lean, mean, tormenting machine.
Sloan: She seems pretty institutionalised. Who cares as long as she’s happy?
Glory: The fat kid. Kinda reminds me of a guy I went to school with, “Plimpton Waddams”.
Greg: Neeeeeeeeeeeeeerd.
Enzo: He’s new and he hears things. I wonder how…

So what’s the writing like? One word: supercalifornicationalistic. In several different words, it’s really good. James Ashby covers the story and plotting (and scheming, always scheming). I assume he has a pretty good idea of where this comic is going, because the story moves with such fluidity, knowing when and where to ease up and when to push on. Mr Zach Weiner, of Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal fame, scripts things up something fierce in Snowflakes, writing some excellent jokes that fit the characters’ personas to a tee. I should mention that Snowflakes is written as a PG comic, so, I dunno, if you’d rather your teenage son/daughter/pumpkin read something good and wholesome, this is the thing for them. Strap ‘em down, tape open their eyes and make ‘em read. They’ll thank you for it. But the real humour in the writing, I think, lies in the dichotomy between the characters’ dialogue and their ages.

If you’ve seen Captain Excelsior, Grumps or any of Chris’ other works, you’ll be familiar with his general style. “Snowflakes” is no different. He gives us his impeccably unique character style done in the most professional and proficient manner. Between the writing style and Chris’ art, the characters become very believable. I’ve always loved characters’ facial expressions and, I have to say, that Chris is my favourite artist in that regard. He can get so much emotion out in the funniest way possible without compromising the quality of the comic. Fantastic. Here’s a taster of what I’m yammering on about.

Well, I’ve conferred with the judges, and Snowflakes has won itself a 4.5 on the Trax scale.

Great writing, interesting storylines and fantastic artwork makes this comic what it is. And just between you and me, I think the division of labour gives each of them more room to be creative and push the boundaries of their collective awesomeness. And it is awesome. James Ashby, Chris Jones and Zach Weiner. The Trifecta of Funny. Snowflakes updates M/W/F, get ready to bookmark it. It’s too good to miss.

Peace out.
Coyote Trax

You Say It, We Spray It

“Cruder than raw oil” – York Times

“This is shit, man” – Some Jerk

Well, I’ll admit this wasn’t the best idea for filler, since I know I don’t have that many readers. But I got a few good questions and a lot of material for funnies.

So let’s delve right in.

The first question is from Mike, he writes,

“Hi, I love your reviews, but they’re all positive reviews. Why don’t you review awful comics or give bad reviews?”

A good question, one that a good friend of mine has asked me before too, in almost as many words. I write positive review because the point of this bloggy-blog is to promote little known comics. That’s hard to do if I berate them. And since new comics are still usually trying to find their feet, there’s a “crappy phase” in most instances that I mention but gloss over is some cases. If a comic is very, very bad, I just plum won’t review it. But if things start wearing thin in the webcomics world, I’ll have to get out there and start pointing out the awful. But there are still plenty of good comics out there, so you need not worry. Thanks Mike!

Next question, please. Andrew writes:

“I was wondering how you go about finding comics for your reviews?”

Well, chief, since I bring the comics to you, it would kinda defeat the purpose of me writing this bloggy-blog if I told you where I find my gems now wouldn’t it? But I know you guys read this for the hilarity and good reviewmanship… … …Right? Ah screw it, I’ll tell you anyway. I get most of my stuff from good old fashioned advertisements on other comics. Twitter is also a great treasure trove for webcomics, not just new ones. And then there are a few other places such as Webcomic self-promotion sites, Webcomics Inc is very good. Though in many cases, people just e-mail me with new ones they’ve come across, and sometimes the artists themselves will get in touch.

I hope that answers your question without giving too much away.

My next question was the most incredibly long thing I’ve ever read. And I even attempted War and Peace. Fortunately, Richard is a good writer, so it was actually enjoyable to read, unlike War and Peace. I’ll just get right to the question. He asks,

“If you could, what is the one question you would ask your readers?”

You clever clogs. But an awesome question nonetheless. My question to my readers would be this: “What colour underpants are you wearing, if any?”
Do you regret asking now, son? I hope so.
Though I suppose if I had to ask a real question, it’d be “What was the first webcomic you ever read, and do you still read it?” You know where to e-mail your answers to.

This next question is from Arne Schulenberg who asks:

“Could you please tell your readers that there is a reddit-page where you could not vote for one but for ten photocomics which are well made?”

No. Just. Just, no. I can’t give too much stuff away about where to find new comics. Though having looked, I can’t say that all those comics aren’t roses and pomegranates.

Last question, yes? Brian asks the big one, which I’m sure he regrets already if you haven’t seen the side-bar thingy.

“Coyote, you review comics but you don’t write/draw one. Isn’t that hypocritical or something?”
Yes! Yes it is. And I wouldn’t have it any other way. Except: I’m having it another way. Indeed, I’m getting a webcomic started for the Summer. It’s hosted on DrunkDuck, cos I don’t know any code. Yay, lack of knowledge! Here’s one of the official advertisements for “Star Trax” that’s on the webpage.


It’s weird drawing it, since that’s not even my style (see new profile picture). I’m keeping it simple so it’s easy to update and it should get underway around mid-June. I’ll let you know.

And thus concludes this portion of the show. I got a nice amount of responses so, you know, keep reading, one and all. There’re plenty of comics coming next week. Until then kids, stay safe.

Peace.
(A very hung over) Coyote Trax

It's a-Musing(s).

So, finals are going… Um… Well, they’re going. Comics are getting harder and harder to keep up with every day, I tell you! I need some sort of filing system to keep track of all these. If only there was some way that I could create a specific folder, that I could somehow save onto my computo-tron, in which I could put the web addresses of my favourite comics. But alas, to my knowledge, such technology does not exist. Don’t forget kids, you can send in more of your webcomic and non-webcomic related questions/comments/queries to me at coyotetrax@hotmail.com for the up-and-coming "special update" crudely termed “You Say It, We Spray It”. No question goes unanswered. Except questions concerning the nature of life, those even I cannot answer on the interwebs. “You Say It, We Spray It” is in lieu of a ‘real’ update next week (Friday), go get ‘em in. And thanks to those who’ve already e-mailed their questions!

Anyway, here’s a comic that I like to read. Because I am a girl. Candi by Starline Hodge is possibly one of the best (and sadly, underrated) comics out there. Yeah, I guess it’s a “chick” webcomic, but son, the artwork has a nice familiar feel, the characters are believable and the story just sucks you in. On top of all this, it can be damn funny. That’s like, every box ticked, Benny! It follows the story of struggling art student Candi, her friends and their college escapades and love lives. For some reason, I can’t get enough of it. Check it out.

Now today’s comic can be described in many words and 'nipple-less flatulant tush mittens' aren't any of them. Yes, Musings is the fantastical new comic by Evan Diaz. This one also started on my birthday, that’s pretty freaky. I now pronounce March 9th to be “New Webcomic and Give Trax a Gift Day”. You may kiss the bride. Musings isn’t a story comic per se, but there are short story arcs. For a humour based strip, this comic puts others to shame. I’ve laughed myself senseless at it on more than six separate occasions. Also, there’s some hilariously insightful (read: unsightful) guff. Hence the name “musings”. Recently the characters have been formalized (note: NOT ‘formulized’, that’s different, guy). Here’s a run down.
August: A pretty normal guy with a pretty unusual name. He plays the role of the cartoonist’s representation of himself.
Ed: He’s a nut short of a ballsack. (Alternative metaphor if kids are reading this: A few cards short of a deck. In retrospect, I should have put that first). He's random, skewed, lewd, and probably the real ladies' man. Look at his eyes! Sooo cuuuute! Has a pet coat named Petie.
Iris: One letter short of an alcoholic (Iris - Irish? Geddit? Ah you wouldn’t know funny if it bit you in the hind-quarters). She plays the role of the author’s significant other (read: owner).
There are other minor characters that we’ve only just been introduced to, or will soon be introduced. So we’ll leave those guys out for the moment.

So what are we dealing with here with Musings? At first, I thought it was going to be a bit of another xkcd-styled draw-a-thon. And for the first couple, it kinda is. It’s all dizzy metaphor and stick figures. But the writing progresses significantly, developing a couple of characters and a bit of a story to go along with it. Up until a couple of months ago, it was mostly random strips. Not all of his early stuff was glitter and bran-flakes, let me tell you! There were undertones of that dreaded four letter word. Should I say it again? Are we passed the watershed? Ok, undertones of xkcd. Man, I like xkcd, I really do! But I’m not very fond of most xkcd-alikes, whether they meant to be like it or not. Anyway, despite a couple of these strips, there is possibly the most randomly hilarious stuff I’ve ever read in a comic since the Perry Bible Fellowship… Remember when it was good? (and updated, for that matter?) Ah good times. But Mr Diaz’s imagination has got to be more overactive than Marty Feldman’s thyroid (It's alright, I can make that joke. I'm a biologist).

Artwork time again, folks. Remember how I mentioned overtones of xkcd? Yeah, that extends quietly into the artwork too for some of the early strips. It progresses pretty quickly onto less-stick-figure-like guff, and then again recently with the new main character designs. I’m pretty impressed with it. I find it kinda cutesy, especially in the eyes. Damn their eyes! But lately the artwork has gotten very good and suits the humour style right down to the ground. Me likee very much. And the facial expressions, what I love the most, are fantastically done. Here’s a taster of the art style used now.

So in conclusion.





I love doing that. Randomly saying “So in conclusion.” Confuses people to no end. Good stuff. Anyway, this bad boy is getting 4 out of 5 paw things.

I’ll be following it every Monday to Friday, and so should you. If you like random, throat-hoarsingly good funsies, or just a cutesy comic that will make you smile as you contemplate the fruitlessness of your existence, Musings is for you.
And don’t forget that "You Say It, We Spray It" is next Friday, so keep mailin' your questions. Ask anything you want! Voice your thoughts on the webs. Not THOSE thoughts, chief, this is rated PG16... Doesn’t exist, huh? I’ll give you existence *shakes fist*... I’m so very tired. Oh, and I should have a little surprise for y'all as well that day. Depends on the amount of sorrows I'll need to drown after the finals.

Peace and chicken grease
Coyote Trax

Coming soon: Letters from you, for you!

Well, anyone out there who’s ever done finals will know that there’s no pressure to do well. Hah! I lie, I’m pretty busy. I’ve also spent an unholy amount of time preparing a comic that I’m sure I’ll get around to uploading somewhere, sometime in the near-distant future.
On another note, I’m doing a letters page in a couple of weeks, where I’ll answer your questions! They can be questions about any webcomics, or comics in general. But you can ask anything, even basic life advice. I. So ask whatever you want, anonymously if you like. You can e-mail your questions to coyotetrax@hotmail.com

Here’s a comic thing of choice for you, I was going to review it as it’s only about a year old now, but it looks like that ain’t gonna happen. Seems these days comics are being made quicker than I can review them. I pronounce 2009 The Year of the Webcomic… Also known as The Year of the Nerd. Anyway, check out Turnus. Euan Mumford of Jump-Leads fame is involved so you know it’s gonna be good. It’s about a secret agent spy guy, I’m sorry to say I haven’t read the whole archive, but it’s on the list!

Anywho, to today’s review. Who here reads Doctor McNinja? Show of hands. I used to, I don’t know why I stopped, but I did. Well, this week I submit to you the comic Porterhouse written and drawn by Tom Torre and Kent Archer (of Doctor McNinja fame). It follows struggling artist Porter House in his attempt to make his career as a struggling comic artist (in this economic climate he’ll be lucky to get a job as a guy what draws the caricatures of people on roller-skates). It’s a story-based comic with the occasional topical strip thrown in for good measure. And to make things more awesome, it officially started on the interwebs on my birthday! I expect gifts! However, the character of Porter has been going for years since these guys were in art school. And now for the main-character sound-off!
Porter: Struggling artist and comic nerd. He’s every art student ever made. Generally plays the straight man for Buster’s sarcasm.
Buster: Genetically enhanced peanut. He’s the man (nut). Reminds me of Bender from Futurama, only nuttier (do you see?).

There’ll be more main characters to come, presumably, since this two man show won’t work forever. Also it says as much on the “About” page. That’s right, I do my research. If only researching biology was this easy. But I digress!

Like I said, there’s a main storyline following Porter’s exploits, and then random topical strips every so often. The main story is humour-based and thus far has targeted the hard-core comic convention goers who are, let’s face it, fat idiots. And they’re not afraid to poke fun at comic artists too. The writing is some very funny stuff, and the comic timing (pun?) is second to none (rhyme!). Not to mention his sense of humour is very general, so y’all will get it, but the occasional skewing of it makes it a treat to read. The one-offs are a different kind of humour altogether, topical mostly and make for some lovely breaks in the story.

The artwork is most fancy, and pretty unique in that both Mr Archer and Mr Torre take turns in doing it (you'll notice the subtle differences). Archer's still fiddling around with his colouring, and lately he’s been using coloured markers for the job. I have to say, while starting a little shakey (not much, but enough to notice) it looks fantastic now, and quickly finds its comfort zone. Not much else to say really. Check out the taster below to see for yourself.



Welp, I’m giving this bad boy a 3.5 out of 5. It’s good. Very good. I’m guessing it’ll be great given some more time when more characters are introduced. Definitely give Porterhouse a look if you like comic humour, and keep an eye on it if you decide to follow it.
Sorry for the supreme lack of funnies in today’s review thingy, I am physically and mentally wiped from studying. Free life tip: don’t put off memorising vast quantities of info ‘til the last minute. It hurts the brain. And remember, send your questions to coyotetrax@hotmail.com I’ll take anything and everything.

Peace and chicken grease
CT

It'th alright, I have a lithp.

I decided to write most of today’s review from the college library as I “study” for my final finals. Maybe the fact that I’m typing this here and now shows you just how much (read: little) I’m getting done. For some reason I can’t get my interweb connection to work here. It’s been 4 years so you think I would have figured it out by now. No matter. So what’s in the news? Swine ‘flu still? Sorry “H1N1” as the UN would have us call it, or “Filthy Mexican ‘Flu” as the pork industry (Big Pig) prefers.
This week’s introductory-paragraph comic of choice is A Fine Example by Brian James. Now, this happens to me a lot, and I’m not sure if it happens to you guys, but when I come across an awesome comic I like the read the whole lot from beginning to end. Unfortunately time, being the possessive wench that she is, doesn’t often let me do this. But damn it this comic is funny and I want to finish it (curse you exams!). The main story follows John Stiles, he’s some sort of pirate, I don’t know, I’m not done reading. Don’t like the story? Check out his archive, there’s funny random stuff. I loved the Global Warming report, I haven’t laughed that hard since this Checkerboard Nightmare. From what I have read, it’s good stuff. Hand-drawn, good style and to top it off you’ll be laughed-up verily. [EDIT: Just finished the main archive and I have one word for it: Fantastic]

Today I have for you a very new webcomic that’s in the very early stages of its story. Very. Joe Cook brings forth for us his comic called Shattered Myth. And in case you were wondering, that’s not the title of the next heaving mass of Dan Brown awfulness, but I see how you may mistake it for such. That’s really Dan Brown’s fault for writing such tripe. I hate you Dan Brown. Fortunately, this comic isn’t written by, or is in any way associated with, Mr. Brown. Set in the “Mythoscape” the story so far involves ancient gods, some dude who is very, very confused and some chick whose only virtue is impatience. Shattered Myth only started in mid March, so it’s pretty new and has yet to really start developing the main characters. Here’s a quick run down of them as they stand:
Roland: Geek with a sarcastic streak. Has no idea why he’s in the Mythoscape. Currently paired with Anubis.
Anubis: A Jekyll and Hyde with the hide of a Jackal. Do you see? Currently stuck with Roland the Greek… Sorry, geek.
Anya: Not to be confused with: Enya. Currently walking Fenrir, a wolf-pup/god thing. She’s pushy, shovey, impatient… Typical woman really. She plays the role of the “bit of tart”. (Don’t hurt me, Women’s Lib! I’ll be good, I swear!)

As I said, this comic is pretty new. As a premise, the whole mythological thing is pretty good. It’s been done enough that it’s somewhat familiar to readers, but there’s enough creative room to make it entirely unique. In fact, this is the reason I was drawn to it. I’m quite the mythology buff. Well, I say “mythology buff”, I mean “avid watcher of Stargate”. This comic is in no way a History lesson either, chief. There’s more comic relief than you can shake a Mjolnir at (See? Comedy Gold!). The story is just now emerging from the “introducing the characters to us” stage. It’s now on the cusp of getting really interesting, with the plot starting to get into gear. I have only one real critique on the writing front, however. The story needs to be paced a little better. At times it slows down when what it needs is a good kick in the plotline to get things moving forward again. But pacing is something you learn with time and practice. With a little more plot planning, I can see this being a very interesting story-comic to follow.

Now onto the “drawmanship” (a word I invented myself to berate another reviewer). For the man’s first comic, it’s good. Of black, white ‘n’ grey cartoon-style, it’s not overly ambitious in terms of creativeness. But its solid, smooth lines look comfortable and the backgrounds, in addition to being well-drawn, are used to great effect. I’ll be honest, I have seen comics out there and they’re really not much more than scrawls. You would honestly think that an elderly bloke with the Parkinson’s had attempted it with their bad hand while dancing the “hoochie coo” on an oil-covered ice-rink. So by that outrageous standard, Shattered Myth is fantastical. But by a far more normal standard, Shattered Myth is par for the course. Golfing terminology aside, artwork evolves as time goes on, and I think it’ll hold true for this comic as it progresses. Check out the taster below.

All in all, I’m only going to give it 2.5 out of 5 paw-things. It has much potential, but it still needs to “find itself” as those monks what live down the street keep saying. And keep in mind that this is a first attempt at a webcomic. That stuff ain’t easy, as illustrated nicely by the first issue of Broken Plot Device. Still, as a first timer comic, it’s damn fine. There’s a lot of room for development and, with a little time and effort, it could become quite the popular niche comic, no question. Shattered Myth updates M/W/F kids, it’s definitely worth keeping an eye on to see where it’s going. That’s all from me on it. Next week, that’s right, another comic!

Peace
CT

Webcomics are Like a Fine Wine.

Watching an old episode of the Trek, and I can’t help wondering how the new film is going to go. I’m excited about it. Very excited. Not THAT kind of excited, chief. That’s wrong. It could go either way, but then time travel is involved, so if it’s bad they can always cry “alternate timeline” and all will be well. Remember First Contact? All the crickets started chirping and then they learned of the old time travel paradox in films involving universes and things. Also: physics! So who knows, it will either be good time travel or bad time travel.
So, back to the webcomics. Recently I learned about a comic that’s been going for years, George. You may have read it, or know of it, but I only discovered it when I joined twitter (also: join twitter). I have to say, the artwork is cartoony but very professional, like a comic should be. The humour is very broad too so, unless you have some severe funny-dysfunction in your brain-sensor, you’re guaranteed a laugh.

Aside from that, I have a great new webcomic for you today, swine ‘flu be damned! Scott “Mighty Duck” Ferguson offers us “Nerf This” a humour-based comic with plenty of random laugh-me-ups and a small monster with teeth. It kicked off on the 12th of March, so there’s not much catching up to do there. And like all new comics, it starts a little slow, but not too slow thankfully and soon hits a decent calibre of humour. Here’s a quick run-down of the main characters:
Chase: The nerf-gun toting, Spiderman-obsessed owner of Monty, the Monster.
Monty: Small monster thing with wings owned by Chase. Likes to bite him and is afraid of Smurfs.
Tony: Chase’s good friend, acts as the straight man when Chase is around. Funny in his own right, too.
Steph: Tony’s girlfriend. Angry, angry lady. She acts as straight man for those ‘Tony and Steph’ moments. Or should that be “straight person”? I don’t know, political corectness was never my forté.

Ok, now let’s get down and dirty with this thing. The writing is pretty good, and the humour is overall decent with the frequent twist of hilarity. The first storyline, wherein many of the characters are introduced, is a little slow and is by far the least funny. Now that’s not saying it isn’t funny, but compare it to the next few storylines and you’ll see a drastic improvement in the humour. Literally, each story is funnier than the last. I guess the humour is best characterised as random and observational, with a little unrealistic realism thrown in for good measure. It makes for a good mix. Personally, I don’t get the character of Monty. Well, I do, but I don’t see the point in terms of long-term plot development. But if my eyes work like I think they do, I believe I saw him in the second instalment of “Scout Crossover”, also done by Mr Ferguson (and shall be reviewed with gusto once its had some time to mature, comics are like a fine wine in that respect... Well, they're like a wine... Well, they're like booze). So are we looking at a pan-webcomic marketing strategy or just one strange mans obsession with small winged monsters? We may never know.

Oblige my ears m’dears, and listen to my noodlings of the doodlings. What? I don’t even know. The artwork started off as black and white styled in a some-what conservative sketchy/cartoonish fashion. It has since started dabbling in colour (much like America in the mid-20th century) but still retains its sketchy charm. Not much else to say really. It’s of good quality and there's nary a bad word to say about it. Facial expressions could be made a little better I guess, but that might impinge on the unique style, which shouldn’t have to suffer needlessly.I’m gonna give Nerf This 3.5 out of 5 paw-things. I like it. It can be, and will be, funnier as time goes on. It updates M/W/F, and no doubt I’ll be keeping an eye on it as it goes on. And so can you! Teaser below (Matron!). And I’ll be watching Scout Crossover. Don’t think I won’t! Nothing gets past Coyote Tiberius Trax!

Peace.

When it Raines...

Ho-lee moo-cats, kids. I had quite the eventful week. The work is done, on Earth as it is in Dallas. And by that I mean I finally wrote my thesis. 4/20 came and went. Admit it, show of hands, who went out for Hitler’s birthday? (Seriously, look it up). Anyway, my brain is still a-tingling after all that study, so I’ve got a great new comic lined up for you that takes a nice light-hearted approach to the provoking of the thoughts. But first, more talking. Sorry. The other day my faith in the human race was restored. In these times of economic woe, hardship and general stupidity of mankind, a kind lady let me off paying for something when I realised I forgot my money. I could’ve sworn I’d had cash in my wallet, and I offered to run to the ATM and back so I could pay, but she had none of it. I literally couldn’t believe people do that anymore. I wish her all the best (not that she’s reading).

Raine Dog is a new webcomic by Dana Claire Simpson (of “Ozy and Millie” and “I Drew This” fame), though this comic is quite a bit different. The comic is structured in a ‘graphic novel’ fashion (which she says herself was the original plan for the story), though the artwork makes it look and feel more like a webcomic (which is awesomes). Having only started in January, with weekly updates until recently, this comic has a veteran feel (Veteran? Vet? Get it? Cos the main character is a dog? I’m so funny). And rightly so! Dana’s been doing comics since before I even owned a computer. That’s a fact!

What the heck are we dealing with chief? I’ll tell thee. Raine is the main character. She’s a dog in the big city, living a comfortable lifestyle that she seems well adjusted to. We’re treated (another pun!) to the views and ideas she has on this life, how society and the world in general acts in her presence. In the meantime, we also get Raine’s self narrated retrospective flashbacks of her childhood, or puppyhood, or whatever you’d call it. Amazingly, my spell checker is recognising “puppyhood” as a word. That’s so cool. She talks about some of the trials and tribulation of growing up, as well as the trials and tribulations of her city life. So what? Huh? That’s an old idea, it’s been done, right? Well, son, let me tell you this, it is not an “old” idea, it is a classic. And son? This is what one would term a “fresh perspective”, but not only that, it’s very well executed. Personally, I find myself enthralled with the story, it leaves me at the end feeling satisfied but wanting more. Kinda like sex, or eating a pack of M&Ms. It’s not without humour either, which is used to break up any heavy stuff that is dangerously close to hampering the point of the story.

The artwork is cartoony, but sophisticated. It’s smooth, can be somewhat minimalist, and compliments the tone of the plot nicely. What more can I say? Though the overall format is of a graphic novel, the artwork, as I said, is not. It makes for an interesting combination, and is used to great effect getting the story across.

Should I make another pun or are we good? We’re good.

So give Raine Dog a bone and give it a read, it’s a great comic! I’m giving it 4 outta 5 paw-things, chief.
It updates twice a week, Tuesdays and Fridays, and makes for a good read if you like clever outlooks on life (see the taster down below, chief!)

In the meantime, have a good week.
Peace and chicken grease

Coyote Trax

As Existential Quandaries Go...

The sky is grey here and has been for a while now. It makes for a nice backdrop against which to write my thesis. Now I’m not used to all this thinking, but recently I’ve found myself reading more “thought-oriented” webcomics than usual. And thus I’ve brought some of the newer and more interesting ones here. Now, I realise these won’t have as much of the funny as you may be used to, but I also realise that funny isn’t everything (“It’s not?” you say, “No, chief!” I reply with gusto). Let this forever be remembered as the time I wrote intelligent reviews.
So sit back and engage your brain-sense processors, chief! Cos for the next couple of weeks you’re in for deep-thought treatment from the latest thinky-dink comics the interweb has to offer!

First up is James Finlay’s “The Republic of Here”. Having started literally only in late February, this comic is still wet behind the ears but shows an awful lot of promise. As mainstream comics go, this will probably never be one of them, though the definition of “mainstream” is getting blurrier by the month in webcomic terms. Nay, I would probably classify this as an “indie” comic. Such a thing may spark debate, so here’s why I think (know) I’m right. First off, its premise is not humour, it is philosophy. Secondly, the art style isn’t comic-like. It’s a unique blend of doodling and fair-trade coffee. And, as existential quandaries go, this is one of the stranger ones. So I dub it an indie comic.

So what’s it all about, chief? Well, at its most basic level, it deals with meaningless existence, and how each character comes to term with it. The main character is a robot, Irving (or 111001, as his robot friends call him) who is capable of thinking outside of 1’s and 0’s and dreams of the number 2. Upon waking up, he finds himself on a new plain of existence, reality or thought. We know not what it is. But here Irving meets the two other main characters, Oswald and Adeline. Both have similar stories to Irving, having been in a place where their existence was unreasonable, and they woke up one to find themselves “here”. (That’s where the comic draws its name from, son!) The story is essentially Irving coming to terms with this new existence. What was once purpose without meaning is now meaning without purpose. I have high hopes for this plot, but it does run the risk of getting real old real fast. I can’t wait to see how it goes.

Art-house magic! Since this is a comic about mundane drudgery and the overcoming thereof, we are treated to shades of melancholic grey, “here” being a lighter shade than Irving’s previous existence. The characters themselves are drawn in a more doodle-like fashion to convey a better sense of non-conformity to the normity. Also their names are written on their shirts. I don’t know why that is, nor can I offer a reason. It makes my job easier though *smileyface*. Interestingly, each character has its own speech-bubble font. I like this aspect. It’s a nice touch. At times there’s a very “Matrix” type look to it, what with loads of quasi-meaningless numbers floating around that are liable to take an eye out if people aren’t careful.

Overall, The Republic of Here is a decent and insightful comic. It might even make you think about your own life! Or not! Frankly that’s up to you, chief. To sum up, it’s a nice allegory for mankind’s mundane existence and how so few of us dream of things outside it. And if worse comes to worse, it could easily transcend the genre into humour! All they need to do is open a bar called “Cheers” on this empty plain of existence and throw a pregnant sassy waitress into the mix! Ahem… But I digress. Read The Republic of Here! I give it 3 out of 5 paw-prints or ‘Trax’ or something. Do you see?

Peace and chicken grease.

Coyote Trax

Why do you think I write this thing?

Ah, there’s nothing like a smooth week to make things seem like they’re alright. Although, my phrase of choice this week doesn’t reflect such good tidings, I think you’ll agree that it’s pretty deep: “Sometimes you have to know that there’s no going back in order to move forward”. So kids, if you’re stuck in a rut like I was, don’t be afraid to burn bridges and get on with things. Anyway, enough “life talk”, let’s get back to what really matters: Webcomics.

A brief note of webcomics news: Artist of insightfully delightful comic Bellen!, BoxBrown is releasing a companion book to said comic called “Love is a Peculiar Type of Thing”. It’s only ten bucks, so if you like his stuff you might consider convincing your local “comix” store to get in a few copies. It’s good stuff, chief, and there are a few previews available on the book’s site.

And now for our regularly scheduled update. This comic, without trying to build up your hopes too soon, is one of the best I’ve read in a while. Broken Plot Device by Lis “Lizardbeth” Boriss is really something, folks. Right from the get-go it’s pretty well done. A solid art style and storyline are clear from strip numero uno and you can tell that this comic won’t disappoint. It’s already got a huge following having only started in June of 2008 and, though I really can’t remember how I found it, it seems to live in relative obscurity next to comics of equal calibre. Oh, wait, I think I found it through random clicking on twitter… Peoples, twitter is the only place to be.

BPD’s modus operandi is self-described as “geek-centric” with plenty of game, and sci-fi humour, dashed with a bit of the magics and some pair-oh-dee (that’s “parody”, chief!). The overall “theme”, you could say, is furry (but in the not-weird sense, son), with the majority of the plot centring on a group of friends and acquaintances living in the Byron Apartment block and the situations they get themselves into. Some involving ninjas, others involving a robot. The main character is Liz, a budding young webcartoonist with everything to prove and a healthy internet addiction to boot (autobiographical much?). The other characters, as mentioned, are tenants in the same building. The main three, I guess you could call them, are Maxine, Sid and Zigfried, all of them good friends with Liz. There are several other characters too, each getting a fair amount of strip time themselves (nobody’s left out, really) over the comic’s run thus far. The writing is done pretty well so the characters develop nicely as the story progresses and there’s the added bonus of the inter-character history imbuing their personas with an added sense of realism. One of the major difficulties in writing something is trying to establish a “believable” back-story for the universe they are in, and one which will hold the attention of the reader. This comic does so in such a way that is not only natural, but also subtle, so it’s not like you have to really try to understand where everything comes from in it. You’re happy to accept it all and read on contentedly.

I’ve mentioned that this comic has a good following, and I would like to think that’s the case due to the most excellent humour involved. And it is. HOWEVER! This comic also has a second gun of excellence in its artillery of awesome. It is a very well drawn comic! I have to say, I’m a fan of black and white comics, so this was very nice to come across for me. Some of the strips are coloured though, for those of you who prefer that sort of thing, but give me clean ink on paper any day of the week, son, and I’ll be happy. Y’know, unless you drew a penis or something, then I’d be less happy and more punching-you-in-the-throat-y. Lis has a pretty distinct style of drawing, and her overall comic layout doesn’t generally throw up anything out of the ordinary. It’s a straight-forward multi-panel festival of laughter for your eyes, chief!

Broken Plot Device updates Mondays and Thursdays, kids and you can follow Lis’ musings on the Twitters too. You wanna see some of the good stuff, then scroll right down past this para, son! Don’t forget to check out BoxBrown’s new book, too. When a webcomic gets going, even when it hits the paperback-mainstream we all gotta pull our weight and help each other out. Why do you think I write this thing?

Peace and chicken grease
- Coyote Trax

A Review of Woo for You!

Hello again, faithful readers. I must begin with the bad news. Due my excessive workload and sleep deprivation, I didn’t get the chance to find and review a really obscure comic this week. That means getting in touch with the artist, asking their permission to use some of their comic in the review (for the taster, chief!) and it usually takes a day or two for them to reply. Anyway, yeah, I didn’t do that. And so! I decided to review a less obscure but no less recent comic. With any luck, I’ll get quick permission to post a picture [I got it, son! - Ed.]. If not… I don’t know… I guess I’ll draw a bad rendering of it? That’s what happens when you cross the Trax! Yeah! Wow that sounded awful once I read it back. “Just the Trax, ma’am.” I need sleep.

So, I’m gonna thank Cameron right now for suggesting the comic Sandra and Woo. If, like me, you’ve seen the advertisements and haven’t read it, then you were missing out on some good stuff! Originally, I was going to review this one in a month or so but, since I read the entire archive in one sitting, I think I’ll review it now. Sandra and Woo is about a young girl who finds and adopts a raccoon, Woo, as her pet. Fortunately for us all, Woo can talk! And he be knocking out the funnies. There are numerous other characters too: Sandra’s father; and her friends Cloud and Larisa; Woo’s friend Shadow, a fox; and Sid, a Squirrel. It’s written by Oliver Knörzer and drawn by Powree, AND it only began in October!

This comic is entirely reminiscent of Calvin and Hobbes. Mostly the writing, but some of the comics are portrayed in a similar fashion to the old Calvin and Hobbes strips, but in no way is it ripping it off. It’s all very original, and very well written. These similarities are usually intentional, an homage of sorts, to the excellence that is C&H, (not Cyanide and Happiness, that’s another thing entirely). So if you’re into Calvin and Hobbes, you will like this strip. It’s full of the witty and inspirational observations!

How can I describe the art work? Well, you can check out Powree’s DeviantArt page and make up your mind with your eyes. Or, you can just check out the comic and make up your mind with your eyes that way, son! I recommend the latter, since it kills two birds with one fantastic stone. Her work is very good, animé-cartoonish, but still retaining a sense of realism for the comic. The strip itself is done in black and white, and is done in very clean black lines. Refreshing! See to believe, chief.

A summary! Sandra and Woo is a good read if you like intelligent humour and cute fuzzy animals. So what the heck are you waiting for, Marty? Go and read it! Updates twice or thrice a week, usually Mondays and Thursdays and one other mystery day (Hint: it’s not Monday or Thursday!) Here’s your taster, guys and gals, have a good week!
Peace and chicken grease.
Coyote “Write-Me-do” Trax

Webcomics are neat.

Once upon a time I had a job. Really, I did. It was in what you “Americans” would call an “apartment store”… No, that’s not right. “Department store!” Though they’re a whole lot smaller here than what you may be used to. Long story short, I worked there and it sucked but I needed the money. At the time I recall thinking to myself “Dude, this would so make a great webcomic!” Of course, I never actually drew one. That’s how I do things. I suss them out verbally and don’t follow through. I’m a peach like that. Anywho, today’s comic brings back to life my dream of seeing a comic about people working in a department store! And I gotta say, there be funnies to be had, chief! Also, New England Webcomics Weekend is on this weekend in Massachusetts! It’s the first one ever, hopefully everyone going will have a great time. Webcomics are neat.

Surviving Retail by Chuck Egan started (sorta) in October, but the comic didn’t really get going ‘til December (all 2008, people). It’s about the intertwining lives of retail employees, the trials and tribulations that it entails, and essentially how to survive working in a large department store. Be it the co-workers antics or the customers complaints, this comic illustrates (quite well, I might add) life in Bird’s Department Store. (I know I ended two sentences with “department store”, so sue me.)

This is a very well written comic, with several key characters, each with their own little quirks. The humour itself is mostly situational with the rest coming from the characters’ own personas, which are starting to develop nicely along with as the strip progresses. It’s one of those real life comics (not to be confused with Real Life Comics by Greg Dean) in that we can all kinda relate to it. We’ve all been in a department store at one time or another, either working or shopping, so it’s easy enough to keep up with. Looking back a bit, it’s what I’d imagine “Friends” to be if it were set in a department store instead of a couple of apartments and a coffee shack.

Hit me up art-master! Done in black and white (no shading), the comic is pretty good. It gets a thumbs-up from me, at least. The characters are all drawn quite well, and if I were pushed to find a fault, well, I guess the facial expressions could be a little better. I don’t know, they can come across as a little faceless, but only in the literal sense. But it seems to work as it is, guy. To coin a paraphrase, “If somethin’ ain’t broken, then there’s no need to repair it.”

And that brings us to the end of tonight’s show. I’d like to thank Frank and the Frankettes for providing the music. And a special thanks to you, the audience. Oh, and a reminder that the New England Webcomics Weekend is on this weekend. Chuck himself will be there, check it out if you’re in the area. I’d go, but I’m not on that continent. Remember, you can follow Surviving Retail every M/W/F. Here’s a sample to roll over the credits. Goodnight everybody!

Practice makes perfect...

Whoops! I forgot to write this! Busy week involving labs, crabs and tonsillitis. And no crabs. Well here we be! Another week, another webcomic. Have you noticed the new title thingy? How could you not! Look at it up there, all shoddy and half-assed. I haven't actually had time to take it down to fix it. And no, I'm not a furry, that's not a "fursona" or whatever they call it: This is marketing, son! A marketing ploy. I’m pretty addicted to that Twitter thing. I demand you join it, if only to follow Wil Wheaton, he’s a funny guy. So I saw Watchmen last week. Good stuff, though there was a bit more quantum blue penis than I'm used to. Oh, and I’m sure y’all will be pleased to know that I’ve come across a treasure trove of comics in the last week or so too, so we’ll be plenty busy for the weeks to come. It figures, as soon as I start to tone down the blog a bit, I find more stuff to write about.

One of these new comics had me in stitches! That’s a pun, son. You’ll find out why right now. The Practice is a comic about two paramedics (not a bunch of lawyers, in case it crossed your mind). They drive around in an ambulance and get up to all sorts of crazy, medical-related doin’s! Sounds awewsome, doesn’t it? It gets better, one is a hardened, world weary, cynical medic and the other is the wide-eyed, naïve, newbie. Suffice to say, it’s got the makings of a great buddy-movie. Picture Dr Cox and JD from Scrubs as paramedics in comic form and you get the idea. The best part of it all is that it’s funny because it’s true. The Practice is written by Anna Bancroft, a real life medical person, who’s brain train took a left turn at sanity leaving only hilarity in its wake (must be all those long working hours and hospital fumes). She started it in mid-February (of this year) and it’s been going strong ever since.

This comic is exceptionally well written. It follows Rule One of writing in general: Write about what you know. And she knows her medical jiggery-pokery, let me tell you that much. And you don’t need to know fancy terminology for this, oh no sir! It’s not that kind of humour. It’s your basic run-of-the-mill cynical dude with his still-wet-behind-the-ears companion. “So what?” you say, “How is that new and exciting?” The real difference comes in the context. In this paramedic setting, there are new comedic doors open that people like you and I wouldn’t have even considered! It really is very well put together in that respect and I found a bit of a new appreciation for the old-school buddy comedy.

As far as comics go, there are many styles, most have a generic 3 or 4 panel thing with their content essentially making or breaking it. It’s nice to see something break the mold for a change. This is like, I don’t know, the art deco of comics. The characters look like they’re based off signs from a bathroom door (with some minor modifications) but that simplicity gives it a great sense of charm. Heck, Anna, if you’re reading this, you should get into the art business if whole medical thing goes down the tubes. Facial expressions are something I always look at. Here we’re only given the characters’ eyes, but more than enough emotion is conveyed across to the reader.

It truly is a unique perspective, elegant in its simplicity and side-splitting in its hilarity. And if I may paraphrase the site itself, it explains why they call it a medical “practice”. Fortunately for us all, practice makes perfect… But then nobody’s perfect… Who the hell is practising then? You know what, I’ve confused myself. The Practice updates pretty much daily, and you can follow Ms Bancroft’s musings on twitter. Oh, and here’s your taster, chief!

Is "meh" a word yet?

Ok, wow, so one or two things. First off, I’ve joined the gigantic attention-yearning foray that is Twitter. Really, it’s pretty much a big huge “LOOKEE HERE AT WHAT I AM SAYING!!1!ONE”. But here’s a CT-guarantee, folks! I’m gonna find you all good comic strips, every single day. And in a rare, double-whammy decision, I’ll disparage all the crap ones! Yes, I will! So follow me on twitter with all the other Twitts (the extra ‘t’ means it’s non-derogatory!). Secondly, I’ve been meaning to bestow some thanks. Many of you have “electronically” mailed me, thanking me no less! I love you all, but it is I that should be thanking you for your readership and keen interest in webcomics. Also, a very special thank-you to Lifon, who has commented on pretty much every post. You guys can learn something from him. Learn with your eyes.


Man oh man, I love pandas. So when I happened across Pandamonium!! I was pretty excited. There aren’t nearly enough Pandas out there in the webcomic world. Written by Jonathan and Hanna Velez, Pandamonium!! follows the tale of a Panda, his son and their sometimes pal Frank, the monkey and their life in the city zoo. Pandas, being the fuzziest of all the endangered species, are treated like kings. Endangered kings! So prep your eye-buds for some lazy-ass-panda-oriented humour, kids. Because that’s what this is. And having only started in December, there’s not much catching up to do!

Now this isn’t really a story-style comic, but there are a few related comics throughout. And there are some very nifty one-offs! Speaking honestly, the pure fact that they’re pandas is what makes this comic. It’s not something overly clever or witty but, by gum, there be panda bears! And a fair few of the strips within had me chortling (who says that anymore?). I’m not sure what I can really compare it to, it’s not spectacular. But… Pandas!

The obligatory paragraph on the artwork is here! There’s really not much to say. It’s mostly a simple black and white comic, with some of the one-off exceptions. The drawings are pretty… Hm… Is “meh” a word yet? Naw, it's ok and definitely getting better. Further, the pandas are cute and it all adds to the charm. And that’s what matters in the end, right? And Tin Man, you had a heart all along! And Scarecrow, so did you!

All in all, I’ll be following Pandamonium!!, and here’s why. It’s got potential. You know my motto, new webcomics are still finding their feet, their niche and their comfort zone artistically. I wish it the best! Here’s a taste of some of the good stuff.





I’d also like to add (as an addendum, yes) that all suggestions for review are welcome with open arms! Though I do generally review comics that are less than a year old. Long story short, check out Galaxion. It’s Sci-Fi and it’s awesome, and it’s been running since March ’07, so I won’t be reviewing it. Sorry! But you can expect Twitters about it! Or “tweets”. Or whatever they’re called.

Boxes o' Foxes

As the longest week of my life draws to a close, things are shaping up to be pretty similar next week. In that regard, I regretfully have to inform you that there will be no Wednesday updates anymore. Oh, it was always a pipe dream, I could never keep up! That and we’re tearing through comics at a fierce rate these days, aren’t we? So from now on, let’s keep it simple. One comic, one update, one week. Sounds simple enough, doesn’t it? Anywho, onwards and upwards with the review! I’ve alluded to reviewing this comic in the past, but now, John Connor, it is time!

Housepets! by Rick Griffin was cyberspace-worthy in June of ’08. This is not his first comic though, no. His first comic was In the New Age over on comicgenesis, his unique style still shining through. You can see the differences between In the New Age and Housepets! pretty easily. As you’ll see on the site, he’s been working on Housepets! for a while, developing his artistic talents to suit the characters (the great many there are), as well as working on the setting and the characters' personas for quite a long time beforehand. [Editor's Note: Rick tells me this was while he was waiting to get a tablet PC, but where some people would sit with their thumb up their ass doing nothing, he actually planned a fair bit. Good for you, Ricky!]. And by golly, it sure paid off! Wow, where do you begin with something this good? This comic ticks all the boxes that constitute a solid, funny, story-based strip. This is newspaper worthy. And not some cheap tabloid rag that’s used to wrap fish, no sir! But the fancy newspapers, that are read by the middle-class gentleman with a fountain-pen in one hand and a beer in the other. Housepets! primarily follows the tale of Grape and Peanut, the pet cat and dog (respectively) of the Sandwich family, as well as the various intertwining stories of the other pets in the neighbourhood. It’s like a sit-com about pets! Only better, ‘cos it doesn’t suck like a sit-com about pets would! Of course, all the little pets are anthropomorphisms of the actual animal, but I doubt it’s what you’d call a “Furry” comic. Those things are strange. It’s more like VG Cats in that respect, in that they’re animals, but can talk and act like people. Though in the Housepets! universe, the pets are treated more like kids than pets… Mostly.

The writing is great. I’ve seen better, I’ll admit, but the key component here is the artwork synergising with the writing. See how I use a fancy word? But man can’t live on words alone, there’s gotta be humour. Manys a sight gag, especially in the early comics and one-offs, will have you lol-ing with the best of them. The humour is pretty PG, and is kinda reminiscent of Calvin and Hobbes at times, which is always nice to see. I’m a firm believer in not having to revert to base humour such as cussin’ and the like, though it can work well, depending on what the comic is and how it’s delivered. Housepets! doesn’t really get the opportunity for awful language anyway, and uses situational and character driven humour to great effect. Which leads me nicely onto the characters themselves! There are quite a few, we’re introduced to all of them as stories progress, though combined with the uniqueness of their design, it’s easy enough to tell them apart. As I said before, Rick has been working on this long before starting it on the interwebs. He gets the characters and their various qualities across very naturally, and their development is equally impressive.

I should mention the artwork. Again: he’s been figuring this out for a while, not just in his head, but on the sketch pad too. It visibly shows. Like I said, there are differences between his old comic and this, notably in the characters' eyes. But the quality of his drawings are consistenly good. Looking at it, you’d think that Housepets! has been going for years, and it does take years for some artists to reach that level of comfort and consistency with their work. It’s truly wonderful to behold. The things I love most about this comic are the facial expressions. They’re very well done. And because we’re dealing with little kitties and doggies, we’re dealing with intense amounts of cuteness. I haven’t seen creatures this cute since I attended the Sixth Annual Miss Cute competition sponsored by Tiny Woodland Creatures Ltd. and The Boxes o’ Foxes Fine Fuzzy Faux Foot-Warmers collection. That’s why I fell in love with this comic anyway. I can’t not like the kitties. Kitties!

This may be one of the longest reviews I’ve written in a while now! I may keep them this long if I’m only doing the Saturday updates from here on out. In the meantime, check out Housepets! It’s too good to be missed. Really. Updates M/W/F and has a cuteness count of 8.3 on the Button Scale, that means each strip is 8.3 times cuter than a button! (If you’re still using the old (outdated) LOLcat Scale, it’s about a 14).
As always, here’s a taste (courtesy of the man himself) of what you’re missing out by not clicking the linky. Clicky it.

Being all critic-like!

Right now, I’m sitting here hopelessly distraught over my thesis project (apparently my laptop won’t read .stp files no matter how many viewers or converters I try) and not to mention the project itself has been going tits-up since X-mas when somebody left a fridge unplugged, leaving my teeny tiny yeast cells at the mercy of infectious fungi. Suffice to say I’m up Shizzle Creek without a… What to rappers sport these days… Bitches ‘n’ hoes, a gaudy chalice and a boombox! So I’ve been having a pretty damn crappy week, a week whose sheer shittyness runs into the next week, like some sort of diarrhea of epic failure. Ah well, what can I do?

Here’s what I did: I went done found me a comics! Drunk Elephant Comics by Max Riffner has helped me ease the pain. Mr. Riffner is a funny man. A really funny man. Even if you don’t like his comic (which is entirely unlikely) you should read his blog. Or, if you use alcohol to escape the more adverse aspects to your life, check out some of his drink recipies! Coming from the Land of Alcohol myself, this is something I can truly appreciate. Also: drink in moderation (I think there’s a few laws indicating that I have to say that).

So, Drunk Elephant consists of 3 main characters. Join Hank (he’s an alcoholic elephant, you know) and Marty (his newfound roommate and fellow alco) on their various escapades as they drink in their favourite bar with their much-beloved (much-breasted) bartender, Kacy (she has boobs). Going since September, this comic is partially story-based, with the rest comprising one-off funnies. Drink-related humour is the key here, folks and overall the humour is crude. But the best kind of crude. Like a hot nun wearing hotpants and slathered in unrefined oil. It is THAT crude. And it is THAT good. But in no way vulgar, son. Some people hear the word “crude” in regards comics and think “six-year-olds attempts to make a funny”. Those people couldn’t be more wrong (in this case, at least). In terms of realism… Well, it’s an alcoholic elephant, son, what do you think? Drunk Elephant can be a bit randomly bizarre, but you go along with it willingly because let's face it, if you're reading a comic about an elephant that enjoys a tipple, you expect a certain amount of it.

The artwork is proper. And I mean proper. The simple black and white flowing lines reflect the styles of humour nicely (look at me being all critic-like!). It reminds me a little of bars in the '40s, back when life itself was in black and white until they invented the colour TV. There are few, if any, complications in his style. Everything is short, sweet and to the point, and yet not entirely minimalist either, which is nice. Facial expressions - good (artists take note of how he comes up with them); hands - good (always a must, they're bastards to draw); backgrounds - quasi-existent but good when they're there (like I said, few complications, and backgrounds count as a complication in my book). Reminds me of the 3 panel black and white shorts of Chainsawsuit, too. Very nice.

And so we come to the final paragraph, wherein our world-weary child of the interwebs tries to summarise something he’s been trying to write about for the last two hours… I know, it took me two hours and what I wrote isn’t even entertaining. Fortunately, what I wrote about is. Go see Drunk Elephant. It’s a little beauty of a comic, and I’ll definitely be keeping up with it every Tuesday and Thursday, that’s for sure. And, with Max’s permission, here’s a little taste of things to come. Enjoy, folks.

The Most Useless Information Kiosk of All Time

Aside from Wikipedia, of course. Evel Knievel killed by ninjas? Factual. Between work and naps, I haven’t as much time as I’d like for comics. Weep for me. The other day, I was given a link to a few comics from some “peeps” from a forum. Yes, I am hip to the interweb jive. Really, I am. Anyway, there’s nothing I like to do more than tear through the archives of a particularly good comic. And today’s comic is quite possibly one of the most effectively ingenious comics out there right now.

Blank It has a simple premise, a classic love-hate buddy comic about two guys in a strange world that is, for all intents and purposes, nothing. Well, not entirely nothing, but you have to see it for yourself. Follow Lemmo and Aric as they try to make sense of their world, find hats, catch fire and read the most unnecessary information kiosk of all time. Drawn by Lemuel "Lemmo" "Lem" "Hot Soup" Pew (of Pure Pwnage and, most recently, Grinders) and written by Aric "Woefully Under-nicknamed" McKeown (of Ashfield fame), these two are an awesome force as a comedic duo. A dynamic duo, if you will. The two main characters are clearly based on the likenesses of Lem and Aric, and presumably a comic twisting of their actual personas. Having started way back in the summer of ’08, it’s clocked up over 70 comics and its story is now well underway. But it’s not too late to catch up, if I can do it, so can you. But not just yet! Finish reading me first. Please?

I usually like to break down the comic with respect to other, more famous comics to try and put it in some sort of perspective. Also, it makes my page more popular via the Googles (I say “more popular” but I’m just clinging to the vague hope someone might find me on the searchy majigger). But here, there is no comparison; it truly has its own sights and sounds. As far as the humour goes, and it goes pretty far, it's strange, but clever, a little random, but very witty. It’s hard to strike a balance with that kind of humour, VG Cats has done it well in the past, and I have to say Blank It does it even better. This comic is so well written, you could eat your own words off of it. Fancy!
The artwork is spectacular, to say the least. It’s very detailed; a professionally drawn cartoon-style that reflects the characters sentiments perfectly. Manys a time I’ve laughed my socks off at their facial expressions alone. “Heehee, look at him fly!” I said. Ah, good times. Lem’s style is fabulous though and if you’re an admirer of webcomic art, this is a must-add for your list.

How do you summarise a comic this good? One word, son: Awesome. It’s bloody hilarious, it’s fantastically drawn and it slew me when I first read it... and again the second time. Read it now, kids, it’s a winner. Updates Monday and Thursdays, sample panels below.

The St Valentine's Day Massacre

Hey there cats and kittens, it is Valentine’s Day once more. That’s right, and the initials “V.D.” are no coincidence, let me tell you. As a special “V-Day” thang, here’s a selection from some of my favourite comics’ take on the Valentine’s that I’ve come across.
If you’ve seen other great V-Day-themed comics that I didn’t mention, post them in the comments thingy at the bottom. Go on, don’t be shy. I'll even thank you personally, I guarantee!*

Friday’s xkcd went with a spectacular Sierpiński Triangle filled with red hearts and Valentine wishes. It’s so good; I threw up in my hamper.
Ctrl+Alt+Del has, of course, focused on Lilah, Ethan and their upcoming “official” wedding. We all pray Mr. Buckley won’t write in a suicide or something on the day to mar the festivities. I wouldn’t put it past him, would you?
Housepets, by Rick Griffin (something I hope to write more on in the near future) has treated us to Valentine’s cards featuring various characters from the comic with witty little sayings. It’s not only cute, but also sarky. Don’t know what “sarky” means? Read his cards.
Gene’s Journal by David Reddick has done a couple of Valentines comics this week featuring the young Gene Roddenberry and his two alien “friends”. So if you’re a Trekkie/Trekker/Virgin go check it out.
Rock, Paper, Cynic (the very first comic reviewed right here!) is celebrating Valentines in a most unexpected way. Nah, I’m just kiddin’. It’s burning cynicism that will torch thy very soul, perfect for all of you spurned by Love’s cruel spurn-wrench.
Artist BoxBrown’s comic Bellen! has a… Um… Well, I can’t even tell if it’s a Valentine’s Day thing or not. If you’ve ever read it, you know what I mean. But it’s a nice, romantic comic on this pre-Valentine’s Day, also known as Friday the Thirteenth (!) in some circles. My circle. I’m dizzy.
Observational surrealist comic-guy Zach Weiner over at Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal has given us a heart-warming Valentine’s tale of a couple rediscovering their love, amongst other things.
Oooh! Also! For all you sci-fi comic fans, there’s a colour special page over at Galaxion by Tara Tallan. It be Fusella’s birthday o’er there too, so singles are welcome. If they bring cake.

And now for the conspiracy mumblings.

I think it’s always important to bear in mind that Valentine’s Day is essentially a made up day. Yes. Hallmark and the bastions of the Chocolate Industry have conspired together to throw off our calendars by making an extra holiday for them to mooch off of. Before they arrived on the scene, there were only 362 days in the year. The remaining three days being comprised of the holidays invented by the Hallmark-Chocolate Alliance (with subsidies from the Florists Union): Mother’s Day, Father’s Day and, of course, Valentine’s Day. If they hadn’t invented this so-called holiday, we would never have had things like Valentine’s Day Massacre and Love Hearts, the chalky scourge of the corner-shop.
In summary, I’m a bitter, bitter man.


*not a guarantee